Kacang is Nuts!

Being a fan of the Star Wars series, I can’t help but find the following spoof terribly hilarious. This is “Darth Vader’s Canteen Incident”, something I came across on YouTube.

When life gets hectic, a plate of nice, home made, ham and cheese sandwiches never fails to slow things down and give a little perspective.

That’s honey baked ham, heated up with slices of cheddar cheese on top, held between layers of butter head lettuce and whole meal bread. Add a touch of thousand island sauce for a slightly more exotic taste.

Dinner was good.

The title sounds like a pretty familiar tag line, doesn’t it? It originates from the Aliens versus Predator movie (OK OK, I’m a movie buff). But just think. It actually describes Malaysia’s current political scene quite accurately.

On one hand, we have the incumbent political alliance. One party here is famous for its corruption, abuse of power, cronyism, nepotism, and bungling up of anything and everything possible. An Iranian friend once commented that they’ve turned Malaysia into the second Apartheid (Someone from Bush’s so-called terrorist state thinks we have an Apartheid. How much worse can things get?). The other member parties, well… The apples they sell on behalf of the main player are sure polished so shiny you can see your face in it like a mirror. Ah well, but this is all old story. Not unimportant, but it’s not as if anyone doesn’t know about it.

Strangely enough however, the opposition isn’t exactly doing any better either. There isn’t a united opposition front per se; more like a rag-tag, mish-mash collection of parties whose only common goal is to unseat the incumbents. All of them have very different primary objectives. One party wants to create an Islamic state; another, a dynastic Malaysian Malaysia (sorta like a certain small island down south); the third is obsessed with personal vengeance against a system which wronged it’s leader. All are goals which are virtually incompatible with another. And the splits are already showing with the protracted “negotiations” over who should contest at which constituencies. Hell, if this is how they try to win the elections, imagine how they’d try to run the country.

For the opposition, winning against a dug in opponent such as the incumbent requires superb strategy and coordination. There is no way to win by sheer strength, only by sheer skill. Had David walked up to Goliath with only a stick in hand, David would have had his head bashed in soundly and deservedly. Unfortunately, there is a decided lack of any such finesse and skill among the opposition. After the BERSIH and HINDRAF rallies, they thought they “smelled blood”, and are circling the “wounded” incumbent in the hopes of delivering the killing blow. Instead of coordinating on actually doing the killing though, they’re squabbling on who should deliver the blows. All of them want to get to be the hero. This is apparently going on even intra-party (Think DAP). Politics to get rid of Fong Po Kuang? Old foggies complaining that too many new and young faces have been brought to Penang? The incumbent, of course, is sneaking away and laughing at such sheer foolishness. And they’ll probably win the elections. Again.

What a country we live in. We have idiots and nincompoops running the country. And the alternatives are the fools and donkeys trying to take over from the idiots and nincompoops. The poor folks who suffer for all this? Everyone else, of course.

In another case of “Die die also must do, do do also must die”, work has been somewhat overwhelming this week. Will get back with something in a day or two. Or three. Or four. Definitely.

It’s official folks! Malaysia’s Parliament has been dissolved today, and we can expect the elections to be held in less than 60 days. Most predictions put it closer, saying it will likely be held within 30 days.

This announcement comes from Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, who only yesterday denied that Parliament would be dissolved today. The reason for the flip-flop is probably some strategy to confuse opponents, but it just comes across like some petty, girlish, little kid act. At any rate, it probably confused as many allies as enemies in this case.

No surprise here though, that the PM’s final act before dissolving the government is to prove once again, that he is a liar.

Time sure flies when you’re pigging out on New Year goodies! Everyone I know has started work/studies already. My holiday ends tomorrow (Yep, I took a slightly longer one than most), and after that it’ll be back to the rat race for me too. That’s right, watch out yer scrawny rodents, this rat is back with a vengeance and hungry for some big cheese!

It’s the Rat’s turn this time I hear,
His job to bring in the cheer,
May your loved ones always be near,
Here’s wishing all success in career,
Good health and skies always clear,
Have a Happy ‘n Prosperous New Year.

Deputy Internal Minister Datuk Fu Ah Kiow says that the customs officer who confiscated 32 English Bibles from a Malaysian woman traveling back from the Philippines stepped beyond the bounds of his authority. Distancing himself from the fiasco, Datuk Fu said that the matter did not involve the ministry and directed that the Bibles be returned to the victim.

In December last year, the Publications and Al-Quran Texts Control Department under the Internal Security Ministry confiscated Christian children’s books, claiming that the illustrations of prophets were offensive. The same deputy minister was also the one who had to issue instructions for the books be returned.

There are two very worrying trends here. The first and foremost is the fact that some elements in the government are attempting to censor religious material of the non-Muslim faiths in the country. This, of course, explicitly runs counter to the guarantee of freedom of religion, as enshrined in the Malaysian Constitution. The thought that anyone in the government sees it fit to ignore the Constitution is troubling indeed.

The second pattern is also cause for concern. If, as the Deputy Minister of Internal Security says, the ministry is not responsible for such offensive actions, then it seems that the ministry has lost total control over its departments and agencies. How else do you describe a situation where subordinates do as they like, while the superiors have to stamp out the fires and say “It wasn’t me”?

Dangerous precedents have been accumulating in our country of late, especially in regards to the freedom of religion. Unless the currently perceived lame-duck government of the day takes concrete action, things will likely go downhill from here.

Anyone old enough here to remember that road safety campaign slogan I used for the post title? Well, I know I am! It’s been a long time, but yet our roads are more dangerous than ever these days.

The message still holds true though. If you’re traveling this festive season, do drive safely, carefully and considerately. For those who already do, keep up the good work. For those who don’t, remember:

• If you don’t value your own life, your friends and family do;
• If not, the people whom you kill or maim value theirs, and have loved ones who do to.

When you hit the road, peoples lives are in your hands. If you DO NOT DRIVE SAFELY, CAREFULLY and CONSIDERATELY, know this: THERE ARE EASIER WAYS OF KILLING YOURSELF WITHOUT TAKING OTHERS WITH YOU.

Take care folks, and have a safe and pleasant journey wherever you are going. Peace out!

I had one of those “Now why didn’t I think of that!” moments when I read What A Lulu today. In response to the government’s use of indelible ink on voters’ nails to prevent election fraud, Lulu has shown how simply painting nail polish over the indelible ink can render the mark invisible.

Her readers too have outdone themselves and suggested, among others:

• coating nails with an easily removable transparent coating or plastic before having the indelible ink painted on; and
• filing away the layer of indelible ink over the nail.

Might I add pulling out finger nails to the list? No? Oh well, but looks like it’s still back to the drawing board again for this indelible ink plan. Or was it actually part of the plan by the incumbents to steal the elections?